Damn Ringer's Poker Blog

My dumb real life friends apparently like me to update this blog with hilarious shit about my real life and such observations. Usually, I just say ‘Fuck off, its a poker blog’ but with my new found facebook linkage, i suppose more people might be tired of reading numbers, graphs and hearing math spoken. It would remind me of multi-variable calculus too.

So lets talk about hilarious shit and stuff since i’ve become a poker professional and some considerations that I need to take into account. I have been professional for close to a month now, and its been a pretty awesome month, but after a month i realize I need to get some new fucking hobbies. Currently my life consists solely of poker, sleep, trolling forums, the gym, playing call of duty (damn you vizer), and of course, being a rampant alcholic 24 year old. Honestly, it has mostly consisted of poker though, well ok maybe a little more drinking than poker but poker none the less.

I have been trying figure out all my benefits shit i’m gonna need for the coming year. I’ve decided to give it a go for year, and see how I fair as well as how sane I am come next december. Alas, I will need health benefits, as I’m basically the hamburglar with how much I love to fondle cheeseburgers. Ok maybe I don’t fondle them, perhaps I eat them. Come to think of it, I’d prolly be healthier if I was just a cheeseburger molestor, but I digress. I think I’m just gonna roll with a high deductible, and money co-pay. I don’t really know much about it, but I likely will be going through my previous provider, which is NCBCBS, which of course is the short version of No Complications Because Cheese BurgerS… or perhaps north carolina blue cross blue sheild (i thought the first was more clever). That means I will have to get in tip top shape and not do anything stupid that will mess up my health exam like a delicious late drunk night cigarette, don’t get me wrong, i don’t smoke and think its generally repulsive but man are they good when you got 10 beers in you. On a more serious note, if any of you poker friends with your own health care have any pointers please feel free to comment.

I have been managing to stick to a mighty ridiculous poker schedule with playing 5 hour sessions per day being about the normal. This is where the ‘mostly’ in the title will come in but FB readers and bored LDI employees alike I will keep the math, numbers, and graphs outta this one. I have managed to completely botch my schedule, with my average wakeup time now somewhere around 11. Stay with me though people. Its not cause I’m lazy (ok maybe that has something to do with it). Its because the best poker games usually run at night, and on the East Coast that night time is from around 10pm to 3am. Alas, I have to play those times if i like money (I am quite fond (not fondle) of money). So I have a good reason to play these times, and its because I wanna be hella-rich and actually succeed at being a sick nasty pro player. Well actually, I care far more about being hella-rich than respected but if you respect me, that’s cool too.

Onto the completely self-leveling topic, You guys can be my shrink on this one. I mean i guess you don’t really have to, but since you are reading this far, I can only assume you have some extreme desire to help me out, or some hilarious desire to watch me fail (btw, it would be hilarious to watch me fail miserably at this, go broke and come crawling back to corporate america). However, all readers alike i’m sure would love to have the same problem I am about to list: Cronic Back Fatigue. Ok, I might be slightly kidding, but if there’s anyone out there that is say… 6′0″, blonde, female, 115 lbs and into rubbing backs of nude hairy poker professionals, please leave a comment. The problem i am talking about is too much fucking free time. This is the reason I liked having a job in the first place, I liked having something to do, and something to keep me on a schedule. I need a new damn hobby, and i am realizing it quick. I will go insane, if I don’t get something else to do in the next year. I can literally only stomach 5 hours of poker a day before my head starts hurting, and then i need to do something else entirely. I have been thinking about picking guitar up again, and then I remember why the fuck did I quit in the first place? I wasn’t going anywhere with it. Perhaps, I could pick golf up again, but then I realize the times I want to play golf, everyone else is slaving away at work. Well fuck, Its tough to find something to do, while all your friends are getting sodomized by the philosophical man. I mean, I really like hanging out with people all day, but my schedule seems to conflict with their free time.

Then I thought, why not teach AutoCAD? This my friends is brilliant. It takes little time out of my day, I’m incredibly nasty at the program, and it would technically keep me in the analytical, metaphysical, philosophical ‘industry’. I hear the warning from you people, you see that? “Eric, Poker might pay better than your day job, but what if you want to go back to work in 3 years… no one will want your old ass”… yeah i get that exact line like once a week from someone (ok, maybe slightly paraphased). Well ok people I get it. I should definitely protect my resume from having to say in an interview… “well i just said fuck it, I got time, I got money, who needs to work?” I could imagine that would go over like raining, chocolate-covered cinderblocks with a future employer. I shall definitely look into this one.

Alright, That’s really all the time I got for cutting into my prime poker hourage. Wish me luck on my daily adventure, and I hope all you FB’ers and LDI’ers enjoyed a none-math intensive post. You won’t get them often. Welp, See ya.

This entry was posted on Sunday, December 7th, 2008 at 11:03 pm and is filed under Life Related. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.